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Capitalists be like (slrpnk.net)

submitted 7 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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[–] [email protected] 17 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

Owner Class: "Hey everybody. We've had an excellent season this year, so we wanted to pay our success forward. Hold out your hands, we're gonna share our harvest!"

Mushroom and White Trees hold out their "hands".

Owner Class trickles a pittance of nutrients on Mushroom only.

White Trees: "... Wait, what?! How come Mushroom got this?"

Mushroom: "Yeah that's weird. Let's go ask Owner Class what happened!"

Owner Class: "WTF? That's so weird! Hey, Mushroom! What happened here? Why did you get some nutrients and White Trees didn't get any?!"

Mushroom: "Hey, I deserve this! I worked so hard this season, I have to eat, too!"

White Trees: "Give us some!"

Mushroom: "Make me!"

Scuffle Intensifies

Emperor Palpatine Owner Class: Laughs in Reaganomics

Sticks more straws into the nutrients and starts sucking.