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Why do people keep asking where I'm from? (lemmy.ca)

submitted 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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Up until I started working, I didn't really encounter that question. When I did start working, people started asking me that question.

Them: Where are you from?

Me: Canada.

Them: Where are your grandparents from?

Me: Canada.

Them: Ok, where are your great grandparents from?

Me: Canada.

It's irritating sometimes. I just want to exist, do my job and go home, like anyone else. Once is ok, twice is odd, three times is weird, and the fourth time is a pattern.

The only accent that I might have would probably be from Newfoundland, Canada, as I grew up with a lot of people from there. I also talk too fast sometimes.

Have you had similar experiences, and if so, how did you handle it? Can fast speech patterns cause this? Why do random people care so much?

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[–] [email protected] 28 points 10 months ago (6 children)

So are you autistic? Because the literal-mindedness of your answers and the lack of awareness of how to engage in small talk is telling. I say this as one on the spectrum myself; it took me a long time to understand this is just an attempt to establish social connections by finding points of commonality. "Oh, you're from Calgary? I used to live there, too! Did you know a store called Myth Games?" Neurotypical people are also waiting for you to ask the same things in return and often feel miffed if you don't show any curiosity about them.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 months ago (3 children)

Also autistic. I had the same thought about OP.

Before building my mask I was very similar (and probably pissed a lot of NTs off too lol).

[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago (2 children)

I was in my 50s before I started understanding this stuff. Before that, I was married to a very gregarious man who was my social buffer. I could hide behind his small talk. But then he passed away and I was left twisting in the wind until I started to learn how to make small talk. Often I just ask myself what my husband would have said.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

I was late ~~diagnosed~~ discovered as well. Early 30s.

I have a decent mask built up but it is really exhausting so I try not to use it if I don't have to.

On thing I've found about small talk is, people love to be told what day it is. Like they ask you "how's it going?" and you say back "well it sure is a Tuesday!" It's actually amusing how well it works.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago

That's good advice for someone who has a more outgoing partner who knows how to small talk.

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