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how can I develop a thick skin? (feddit.de)

submitted 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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today was supposed to be my first day of therapy and the therapist didn't show up. I'm pissed off. I wasted 2 hours for nothing.

I've sent her a polite message, asking if she's sick and hoping she is well, but in reality I wanted to yell at her. However, if I yell at her, chances are she won't treat me.

Before you suggest to find another therapist, finding a shrink where I live is very difficult and the other ones I contacted have either ignored me or are overbooked. I need therapy and it bothers me to be so dependent on one person.

For those of you who have experienced something similar, how doesn't it bother you?

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[–] [email protected] -3 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Raising one’s voice isn’t a loss of control. I don’t feel safe around people who let others abuse them, because I know their lack of a visible response doesn’t mean a total lack of response.

Someone who isn’t visibly addressing disrespect against them, is instead building up resentment.

People with boundaries that are too permissive are less safe, in my book, than people who address disrespect immediately and openly.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 9 months ago

Do you mean "speaking up" when you say that? Because "raising one's voice" implies yelling to most people, I think. If yes, then I agree. Being comfortable addressing issues like this is very valuable. That said, I disagree that not addressing it means they're just "building up resentment". They could be, but it's not a certainty by any stretch.