listing: all - local
1
92
What do dogs and phones have in common? (lemmy.ml)
submitted 1 day ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
1 comments fedilink

They both have collar ID.

2
203
Why can't you tell jokes about retired people? (lemmy.ml)
submitted 2 days ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
10 comments fedilink

Because none of them work.

3
92
What do you call a can opener that doesn't work? (lemmy.ml)
submitted 3 days ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
2 comments fedilink

A can't opener.

4
52
How do you annoy a robot? (lemmy.world)
submitted 3 days ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
1 comments fedilink

Keep pushing its buttons.

5
118
Did you hear about the man who accidentally drank invisible ink? (lemmy.ml)
submitted 4 days ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
1 comments fedilink

He's at the hospital waiting to be seen.

6
69
It goes without saying that... (lemmy.world)
submitted 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
13 comments fedilink

...

7
418
This is a real TOSser (ttrpg.network)
submitted 1 week ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
20 comments fedilink

Kirk: I'm having trouble hearing lately. Bones: Can you describe the symptoms? Kirk: Homer is a fat guy, and his wife Marge has blue hair.

8
128
I bought a pet termite. I named it Clint. (ttrpg.network)
submitted 1 week ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
3 comments fedilink

Clint eats wood.

9
313
Until I got a pair, I always thought orthopaedic shoes were nonsense. (ttrpg.network)
submitted 1 week ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
5 comments fedilink

Now I stand corrected.

10
69
Did you hear about the square that got in a car accident? (lemmy.ml)
submitted 1 week ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
7 comments fedilink

Now it's a wrecked angle.

11
55
I borrowed a bunch of tables from friends for a garage sale last weekend, and gave them back yesterday. (lemmy.world)
submitted 1 week ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
3 comments fedilink

My, how the tables have returned!

12
144
What do you call a psychic little person who breaks out of prison? (lemmy.world)
submitted 1 week ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
3 comments fedilink

A small medium at large.

13
70
I think it goes without saying (lemmy.world)
submitted 1 week ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
3 comments fedilink
14
49
What did the lettuce say to the celery? (lemmy.ml)
submitted 2 weeks ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
6 comments fedilink

"Quit stalking me!"

15
75
On my way to work this morning a tractor nearly crashed into me. The driver was shouting about the end of the world being nigh... (feddit.uk)
submitted 2 weeks ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
4 comments fedilink

... I think it was Farmer Geddon.

16
64
I got a new pair of shoes from my recreational pharmaceutical direct sales outlet. (ttrpg.network)
submitted 2 weeks ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
2 comments fedilink

I don't know what they were laced with, but I've been tripping all day.

17
108
Why does a moon rock taste better than an earth rock? (lemmy.ml)
submitted 2 weeks ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
8 comments fedilink

It's a little meteor.

18
68
What do you give a sick lemon? (lemmy.ml)
submitted 2 weeks ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
3 comments fedilink

Lemon aid.

19
146
Why is money called dough? (lemmy.world)
submitted 2 weeks ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
1 comments fedilink

Because everyone kneads it.

20
42
I stopped telling "Yo Mama" jokes because they were déclassé. (midwest.social)
submitted 2 weeks ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
3 comments fedilink

Now I tell Yo-Yo Ma jokes, which are much classier.

21
66
Why do seagulls fly over the sea? (lemm.ee)
submitted 2 weeks ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
9 comments fedilink

Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be bay gulls.

22
91
Where do saplings go to learn? (lemmy.ml)
submitted 3 weeks ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
7 comments fedilink

Elemen-tree school.

23
155
What do you call a belt made of wristwatches? (lemmy.ml)
submitted 3 weeks ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
9 comments fedilink

A waist of time.

24
50
Thought of this community when we revisited the park (hope it gets attached this time and not potato quality) (lemmy.world)
submitted 3 weeks ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
11 comments fedilink
25
-5
Thought of this community when we revisited the park (lemmy.world)
submitted 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
0 comments fedilink

Aww my img didn't upload

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Dad Jokes

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Description

This is a community for sharing those cheesy “dad” jokes that invoke an eye roll or chuckle.

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founded 11 months ago
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