Betterment and Praxis

Pretty cool guide.

The guy says that he only recently realized that cleaning isn't intuitive so people need to be taught. This is for people who maybe haven't been taught how to clean or want to freshen up on their skills :)

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cross-posted from: https://beehaw.org/post/8863969

Folks who know me closely know that I'm kind of a geek for patterns - I see them in behavior, in housing, in gardens and natural structures, everywhere. They are at play all around us at varying levels of scale, and anyone who's ever said "oh this again" can hopefully relate.

Christopher Alexander (author along with others of A Pattern Language, The Nature of Order, Notes on the Synthesis of Form), the speaker in this video, has been formative in my understanding of patterns in a way few others have. His approach to design as a conduit for improving the lives of people and the world writ large have been an inspiration.

I want you to forget that he's talking to a room full of programmers. Some of it is abstract, and heady, but think about the patterns in your lives and how even slight alterations to them can influence the course of things. I'm coming to this talk from the aspect of a gardener, of a nursery owner interested in restoration ecology, of someone who wants each of us to have a closer connection to the natural systems at play. Bring who you are to this, and (hopefully) let it inspire you. I'll leave you with this quote from the talk (punctuation mine):

"I want you to help me. I want you to realize that the problem of generating living structure is not being handled by architects or planners or developers or construction people now; there is no way that they're ever going to be able to do that because the methods they use are not capable of it.

The methods that you have at your fingertips and deal with every day in the normal course of events are perfectly designed to do this ... if you have the interest, you have the capacity, you have the means.... And what I'm proposing here is something a little bit different from that which is a view of ~~programming~~ as the natural genetic infrastructure of a living world which you are capable of creating, managing, making available - and which could then have the result that a living structure - in our towns, houses, workplaces, cities - is an attainable thing. Which it has not been for the last 50 to 100 years.

That is an incredible thing! I realize that you probably think I'm nuts because this is not what I'm supposed to be talking about to you. And you may say, 'gosh great idea but we're not interested' but I do think you are capable of that and I don't think anybody else is going to do this job.

Here's a Ted-talk from 12 years back on the topic of vulnerability as a method of reconnecting with self. Just a refresher for anyone who hasn't seen it yet. Highly recommended!

… ask yourself these three questions:

Is it kind?

Is it true?

Is it necessary?

Granted we’ve all heard this before, but sometimes we need reminding.

I try to do what I can to make my local community better. I research and vote in every election, donate money to local nonprofits and also volunteer there when I can (heading to the food bank in a bit, yay!), and try to speak out and offer words of encouragement when I can.

But I live in a very socially, politically, and religiously conservative community. And I…am not. It constantly feels like any effort amounts to pissing in the wind, and yet also like I am not doing nearly enough at all. It makes me anxious a lot.

The latest iteration of this is local people trying to get “obscene” children’s and YA books in the public library moved to the adult section. And to be clear most of these books are not obscene they just acknowledge that, hey people who are LGBTQ+ (sorry if I got that initialization wrong!) exist and that racism is a real thing. I went to the public meeting and was mostly ineffective except I got to thank the library director for her work pushing back against this. I would love to write a Letter to the Editor of the local paper to speak out, but there is a risk of retaliation against my family members and their local businesses. And most of the community seems to be behind this which is absolutely bonkers to me. I don’t know what to do.

I don’t even know where I’m going with this. I think I just needed to say it. Anyone else deal with something similar- feeling like you need to do more but also feeling completely defeated about actually getting anything to change?

from the intro:

Clothing repair and mending can cover a rather wide range of activities varying from those requiring very little skill to those demanding a great deal of sewing skill and expertise. The rewards of mending vary from the self-satisfaction for a job well done to a substantial monetary savings by prolonging the life of a garment.

The need for clothing repair comes from various sources. Poor initial garment workmanship or construction can be a problem with ready-to-wear as well as handmade items.

Everyday wear and tear will also take its toll. Poor garment fit can cause a seam to split or a fastener to break. Still other repairs become part of preventive mending, permitting the garment to be worn longer without the need of major repair or recycling.

Garment repair and mending can require a bit of creativity. Don't be guilty of rushing into a repair job without giving the situation some careful thought and having the necessary tools to see the job through.

Hey everyone. I'm curious what books you've found to be useful in your own lives and if you have any reccomendations for us.

Mine would be the Compound Effect by Darren Hardy which talks about consistent small actions leading to momentum/habit and driving massive amounts of change.

My past couple of posts have been very specific in application, but now that events are set in motion to regain agency, it seems a good time to try to pay forward the lessons I've gained from at this point 14 months.

• If your career is part of your identity, cool. But don't bullshit yourself about where you fall, and keep a critical eye on your industry if you're heavily invested. If it's not, don't make life about adapting for a paycheck.

• Trying to think about the future while in active addiction is pointless. Job searches necessarily were limited to things I knew I could do and still get shitfaced every night, and my perception thereof dropped precipitously past my mid-20s.

• Philosophy is there for when you get stuck, and it's not nearly as dry as in school. I found myself far more forgiving of blurred lines into religion with especially Buddhism than expected. I'd known since my divorce that I wasn't able to start asking the right questions, but philosophy wasn't speaking to me yet.

• You are a reflection of the people you surround yourself with. Any self-improvement in negative behaviours can easily lead to resentment from people who still exhibit them, and it is necessary to on a case-by-case basis decide what to do about this friction. One option that must remain on the table is severe curtailment or outright rejection of further communication. Regardless of perceived positives, there is no amount of negativity that underperforms on balance. Your sanity and outlook depend on positive reinforcement.

• As a quick add-on, this also applies in parasocial settings. So, if Reddit is your baseline for forum interaction, regardless of how reasonable of a person you are, it's going to feel more appropriate to bring your snark from being online for 30 years ... as a default for every interaction. That mindset doesn't switch on and off and thus spills out into other interaction both online and off.

• You are under no obligation to be reachable by anyone during all waking hours. Sure, there are legitimate work reasons, but those are self-evident. I'm talking about rejecting the notion that your phone means you're awaiting contact as a default state.

• Shrooms can be a viable method for quieting rumination (allowing new thoughts and ideas to fill that space), putting a lid on addiction and facing very deep assumptions that were never yours. The visuals are fun, too.

• Draw boundaries and stick to them. There's no point in wasting energy trying to keep a disrespectful person in your life.

• Assess risks and costs accurately when considering actions. Inertia can be really fucking expensive.

• Consider where others are on their journeys and always keep Hanlon on hand for the closest shave. Accept that your paths are not intertwined forever. And consider you're the one who's fallen behind.

After actually enumerating these, I wouldn't have expected half of self-improvement to be about interaction, but it's not really as surprising in the rear view. You can practice mantras and draw up budgets and all that good stuff, but building a better bubble is not building a better life.

Even relatives and close friends can do a lot of damage to confidence that inhibits options. When you're cutting someone off, if doesn't have to be forever (we'll always have email), but it could well be what's stopping you from getting to a place where you can accept them back (or they you).

But overall, regaining agency is is about being open to new paths. If the one you have isn't working, you can embark upon an expansive but ultimately futile excursion trying to graft ac-hoc solutions onto it or really get into the weeds about what a reasonable path looks like and start from there. The latter approach seems to be far more useful.

There's a lot of things we'd like to get better at, but ideas like "eat healthier" or "get more exercise" can feel lofty and difficult to start. How do you break it down and make those first steps?

What's something you'd like to do, but could use a little extra boost to get started?

I set up alerts on Craigslist for Freightliner MT45s two weeks ago, and something in my price range was finally posted a couple of hours ago. I was already preapproved for a personal loan, so I went through the actual application and landed exactly where I wanted to be for payments by adding the electrical stuff I'll need and stretching the term by a year (no prepayment penalty).

For those wondering why the hell I'm posting a truck here, this is the culmination of about seven years of looking into tiny-home living that has veered into vanlife by virtue of climate change accelerating and not wanting to be stuck on a plot of land that may be uninhabitable in very little time.

As such, with rent and fees hitting $20K for the year starting September, in addition to the 15% hike eating my entire food budget, the numbers no longer made sense with the sort of pay raises work offers. Thing is, I've been stuck getting emergency jobs for 17 years now while losing purchasing power just to afford housing and survive, and when layoffs come, I'm in the middle of a lease that I have two weeks in July where I can tell them I'm leaving without a $3,000 penalty. Otherwise, the lease forces me into another emergency job, and the cycle repeats anew.

I've changed how I approach the world and my expectations from life significantly over the past year, and this is finally a concrete physical step I'm taking toward regaining agency.

I will be stripping the interior, installing batteries, solar on the roof, electrical conduit for "oops" wiring changes down the road, insulation and framing, with just plywood walls to start. The beauty of a step van is my current bed will fit, so with those basics, climate control, a toilet and a gym membership for showering, I'll be ready to stop paying rent and then build it out as I have funds to do so, with a shower stall and full-ish (fridge + stove elements + combo microwave/toaster/convection oven) kitchen eventually. I already switched to 5G "home" internet that can hit the road and saves $30 over Charter last weekend, and I reluctantly rehomed my cat Monday in preparation.

I wanted to post here because while a significant amount of time needs to be devoted to researching ideas, then methods, being on the other end of that process and knowing what I'm looking for down to the engine and transmission makes actually pulling the trigger surprisingly easy.

Much of what I've run into outside of forums devoted to #vanlife talk about all the downsides, and questions I've posed trying to learn more get met with caustic sealioning, so I want to point out that this is a very real, very doable thing. Per the loan terms, I'll pay a total of $19,500 in principal and interest over four years, putting me $500 ahead for just this year, and assuming similar hikes annually, save nearly $80,000 in just the next three years.

"But what if you have an unexpected $2,000 repair?" Well, then I'll only be saving $78K. I can have 40 of those in 48 months and still break even vs. throwing my money away to make rich people even richer while never having a net worth.

Came across this video earlier today. While it mat be long, I found it interesting from the perspective as a millennial to see how serious a younger cohort takes these issues.

nebula link

I’m still working my way through this but thought I’d share - this is a great breakdown of a recent trend on TikTok - framed as not being too nice or not being a people pleaser. This analysis takes a critical approach to this in a real sensitive way, and talks about our philosophical obligations to others - and what we owe to each other (shout out to other good place fans!)

This change happened a few months ago now, but the aspects of the change - incentives for increasing tree cover and the reduction of impervious surfaces in watersheds - are the kind of policy changes we can work to have instituted where each of us are. In addition, including tree planting projects in these programs and giving weight to their inclusion (say, as a scoring component for receiving grants) brings access to historically disadvantaged community groups that don't have the financial power to permit, bid, and build large industrial systems but could organize a community planting day.

A Hot Weather Activity for Lonely Asphalt Near You

I've been, more or less, on a journey of self-discovery and self-improvement over the past year after hitting rock bottom. My journey has included psilocybin that alleviated addiction and much of my anxiety — and allowed the further work I'd been needing to do for well over a decade. By the end of April, I felt like I was vaguely aware of what I wanted to do and ready to engage, but lacking any sense of how to find "it."

A week later, I posted on Reddit about a local sale on rice and beans that got the most upvotes of anything I'd ever posted there. What came into specific relief was there was still a market for "news you can use" that I know how to help (I'm not wont to take screenshots of ads, but it was 5 pounds of food for like $3.66 in a subreddit where food insecurity was a frequent topic and no one looks at the circular anymore); no improvement on the "how." I toyed with the idea of (and bought a domain for) a cooperative of experienced journalists operating under "staff" bylines covering just the news scaling from city to city by word of mouth as direct (i.e., Patreon) subscriptions grow to cover an additional living wage position. Not being at all knowledgeable about grants for seed funding, I reached out to a former colleague who's been in the VC space for a bit now who confirmed there was a "there" there but was of course not connected to that world.

A project review at work kept getting pushed back on automation I'd done and had been maintaining for a few months in the vain hope that this would unlock more money and automation opportunities (there are none). The rumblings about Reddit started, and I decided if I was learning about an alternative on Reddit (which is 100% what Lemmy as a whole was being sold as in very early June), I was already behind the curve. Someone suggested Beehaw, so I looked around, thought "this looks nice," and signed up. I was days away from uninstalling Discord ... the servers I was active on are long gone, and it was down to my college roommate, who also talks to me on Steam, thus: no use case. Still, I did miss the "good old days" of Discord and figured it couldn't hurt to have people to talk to while maintaining feed sanity.

So I responded to news links posted there and ended up getting in discussions with admins (mostly @Alyaza) about my "take" on news, though I'd not really been paying attention to community operations to that point. I really liked what I heard, and it felt like I was in agreement with the admins on overall goals for news.

From the other side, it might be tempting to think that what happens next is I immediately notice they are looking for U.S. News moderators and apply.

At the risk of coming off as contratrian: Au contraire.

And I do want to stop here, because this is a moment I have now had three times in my life ... that I know of. When you've actually been honest with yourself about your next goal and take that first step that in hindsight seems so tiny as to be forgotten if it had led anywhere else, consigned to the ether where faded memories become incoherent, there is an inflection point. It has been, for me, a time when I have to make what seems to me like a minor faux pas under ordinary circumstances, but in that moment seems like the only thing any reasonable person could do.

And why does it seem like a faux pas? Self-doubt. What others consider "normal," I often consider pushy. So inserting yourself into a conversation or asking a stranger for a favour is something ordinary people do daily. I do not. I like to be in the background, being snide and efficient — hence the copy desk.

So I'm poking around the channels on Discord and happen upon #governance (I think for the first time), where it has just been explained to someone else that mod responsibilities take marginally more time than just being an all-day user.

Here's the lightbulb. It's literally being handed to me. It is on the screen exactly then, I am here, and U.S. News starts tomorrow. If I cannot take this as the opportunity I've been waiting for to get people's expectation of news back to "boring shit people need to know + disasters," this is exactly where I start to share the blame for my life not moving forward.

In fact, I wasn't really expecting to get the green light to go all the way there (aim high for your starting point, right?), had no manifesto primed and only first heard confirmation I'd been chosen just after the community was created. This was a classic Powderhorn, thrown together in 45 minutes after getting off the bus.

A single point of contention led to an edit the admins were cool with, and a wildly different U.S. News sprung forth than most of the community would have expected, with the explicit goal that a focused U.S. News vision would further Beehaw's reputation for setting the bar a bit higher. Besides, so much stuff belongs elsewhere (I've yet to outright reject a story, though I've nixed a source) that it's honestly going to probably end up being disproportionately policy wonks of a particular stripe, since the activism is also elsewhere.

Nonetheless, that's a community not addressed as a group anywhere else on Beehaw, however minuscule it may be. And for everyone else? U.S. News does what it says on the tin.

I have achieved my overall goal of being able to start in some small manner steering the discussion of news back to actual news. Beehaw seems happy with an experienced journalist modding the domestic news section. So far, I've heard no complaints about the format from users, although one response did make my eyes moisten a little.

This opened up the separation of work and accomplishment, which is at once obvious and baffling. I mean, I was a newspaper editor. I got both in eight hours; didn't everyone? Reality has been cruel.

After years of being able to predict the entire day outside of work bullshit with exceptions of short bursts, things are about to become unpredictable again. But when my life is rearranged, I should feel the most free since I was in college, curious about the future instead of dreading what's to come.

Would you believe that when I sat down to write this, I expected it to be half the length and have covered all three inflection points?

Anyway, point being, when you really know what you want and take a first step down that path, as cheesy as it sounds, things start falling into place. Not in the "pay off your debt and dream in a few years" way; you've announced your intent, and the universe works in mysterious ways. So it's time to be ready to let all the work you've done to get here pay off.

All you have to do is ask.

And it'll be taken as the most natural thing ever.

As to avoid upsetting sticklers for Chekov's gun:

First time was in the newsroom in college. I'd written a news story as a contributing writer, and the news editor was out at lunch. I was instead edited by the editor in chief; all I remember of that was the phone call just as we'd finished, which I could hear his end of while walking out of his office "... yes, we are looking for designers." Pretty sure it was eight days later that I woke up in the design editor's bed.

Second time, well ... a lot of things had to line up exactly as they did, including losing my virginity to the woman I did in college and a freak ice storm where That Doesn't Happen. And that's how I met my second ex-wife.

I saw a lot of interest in personal growth and betterment so this is the place to tell us what you're proud of and hype up other community members 💚

One of the things I'd like to include in thr community garden I'm working on establishing is a food pantry. I'd love to have a place with recycled containers to take home garden goodies, residents to leave extra dry goods, and things like care products/toiletries. I've seen pictures of them online and read articles about them but the closest thing we have here is honesty boxes.

Has anyone made one or used one? Do you have any tips? I'd love to hear some recommendations on practical designs work best or what products you wish yours had more/less of.

this Google spreadsheet doubles as a sustainability resource, but it's generally a good starting point if you're looking to put money where your mouth is in trying to improve your clothing consumptive habits. it also has some basic, useful words defining what slow fashion is and its principles. i've transcribed these (and the major spreadsheet notes) below, for ease.

Slow fashion

Truly "slow" fashion should (ideally) consist of buying only a few pieces a year.

Slow Fashion Order of Operations:

1. Be happy with what you have. -- Do you really need XYZ? What is it that makes you happy about what you currently have?
2. Shop your own closet. -- There have been countless times I have thought "I need a new sweater" when the weather changes only to open my closet, dig in the back, and find heaps of sweaters.
3. Clothing swap with friends. -- You can have a clothing swap party, or just ask friends one on one. "Do you have tons of sweaters? I do too. Can I come over and look through what you have, and you can look through mine?"
4. Buy secondhand locally (e.g. local thrift store). -- Once you have identified a hole in your closet, check out local places to shop before heading online. (Ideally! If you have the time!) I love finding clothes secondhand. It's like treasure hunting.
5. Buy secondhand online (BST, Poshmark, Depop, etc). -- Once you've window-shopped enough of these slow fashion brands (and adjacent), keep an eye out for your faves on secondhand apps. You can set notifications for searches and everything :)
6. Buy directly from a company with transparent labor practices. -- This is where this spreadsheet comes in handy... when you really need something new.
7. Live in the clothes you buy for a while before buying anything else new -- Simmer in that joy for as long as you can; don't get distracted by shiny objects
8. Reject consumerism! -- Whenever you start feeling like you "have" to buy something, question it! Who does this feeling benefit?

On Bags

When it comes to sustainability for bags, there are a few different factors to keep in mind, and you usually have to sacrifice one factor in favor of another. Some might say the most important factor is durability – like, buy one bag, have it for life. but the durability of a bag will depend on how often you use it, how you treat the bag, where you take it, etc. like, even a very “durable” bag will still fall apart eventually if you’re rough on it for X amount of time. However, generally speaking, durability tends to have a push/pull relationship with the materials involved. like, plastics and poly fabrics are often more durable than “natural fibers” like untreated cotton or linen.

The “most ideal compromise” here would be to look for recycled fabrics + secondhand bags which are rated highly for durability. Bag and backpack manufacturers tend to be more opaque about their supply chain and factories compared to “slow fashion” clothes-makers. and I think this comes back to that first factor – durability – which is what most people are looking for in a good solid bag. also things like, “what kind of pockets does this have,” “how does this sit on my frame,” etc.

[...]after all this research, I was really really close to buying a topo design, baggu, or cotopaxi bag, but my partner convinced me that the best, most sustainable bag is the one that you already have, until it falls apart. and they’re right ;_;

Notes for the spreadsheet itself

This spreadsheet is best viewed from a desktop computer (not mobile); the Google sheets app can work to view it in a pinch. Check out the secondhand sources all the way to the right & at the bottom.

Prices are in USD and sizes are listed in US-equivalents. All of these brands definitely ship to USA and to their country of origin (if outside of USA). Almost all of them ship internationally. Please check websites to confirm.

I picked these brands for:

• their timeless and/or completely original looks;
• the care that goes into each garment;
• the prices and availability;
• commitment to low-waste packaging;
• size-inclusivity;
• having at least a few unisex/androgynous/masculine styles;
• and a commitment to diversity in their models.

More info about fabrics and certain high-profile slow fashion brands can be found here, as a starting point:

• https://directory.goodonyou.eco/
• https://goodonyou.eco/ultimate-clothing-material-guide/
• https://www.clotheshorsepodcast.com/