this post was submitted on 21 Apr 2025
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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Anon has his way (sh.itjust.works)
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[–] [email protected] 160 points 6 days ago (5 children)

"do what you want to me" is my least favourite dirty talk. The base idea is that we both currently WANT to do the same dirty rough sex but for some reason we're not doing it. What makes her think he's NOT doing what he wants right now? What if he's a for fetishist and wants to put her foot in his mouth and jerk off? What if he just wants her to eat his ass?

Clearly "do what you want to me" doesn't mean do what you want to me. "do what you want to me" means "I have a specific type of rough sex in mind but I'm not able to express my desires clearly, so I've projected them into my partner and I've made it their responsibility to understand me and do the right type of sex stuff to me"

I know this is basically an unhinged response to a greentext but I've had so many bad experiences with that specific line. Is wanting clear communication before and during sex about the sex we're about to perform too much to ask for?

[–] [email protected] 32 points 6 days ago (2 children)

I'm very sex positive and my partners have been too, so I don't really have this issue, but I think porn has really affected both heterosexual men and women's perception of sex. You hear it from the female perspective a lot where men just start hitting or choking them during sex, but there's a cultural undercurrent of the opposite experience where women will try and take a guys hand to her throat and apply pressure because for some reason asking to be choked is weird but that isn't. Both men and women are seeing rough sex portrayed in porn and assuming that's the sex everyone wants/is having. In reality, it's dangerous to do breathplay with an inexperienced partner and that's not something you just spring on them. I think sex is still a taboo subject and people need to get more comfortable speaking about it. I think the idea of enthusiastic consent and how it incorporates into foreplay is often the deciding factor in how an encounter goes, but often neither party knows how to engage in it.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 6 days ago (4 children)

Enthusiastic consent is so sexy! I also love open scene planning beforehand for kinkier sex so that everyone gets what they want out of it and avoid things they don't want.

A lot of people still find both unsexy and think sex should both be purely spontaneous AND meet all their kinks somehow.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 6 days ago (2 children)

Yes, those are exactly the things that should be happening.

I think the aversion to it is often that it's not incorporated into the foreplay itself. For more serious things it should be completely separate so that there's no question what is part of the the play and not, but imho for casual sex there's less of a need to have a sit down discussion about it. I'm a woman though, so I get that it's easier for me to say than for a man to say. It sucks because a lot of that onus is put on the person coded as masc/dom in more casual settings, but that's just the reality of it. I think if more masc/dom coded people incorporated it into their casual sex it'd be less taboo much faster. I don't think femme/sub coded people are going to be able to push it and still feel like they're inhabiting the space they want to, so I don’t know if we'll see a lot of cultural movement unless heterosexual men start to champion this idea of incorporating consent into foreplay.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 days ago (1 children)

From personal experience in casual settings it's femme/sub coded people that tend to oppose enthusiastic consent. The idea of "agreeing" to various acts doesn't feel "subby" enough.

I suspect the casual femme/sub role is mentally coded the same was bodice rippers/literary smut content is where a strong masc/dom appears and coercively satisfies all the femme/subs desires without real communication occurring freeing the femme/sub from the "shame" of accepting and expressing their femme/sub desires.

I think it would be, to me, difficult for the concept of enthusiastic consent to come from just one side of the equation. Both partners have to find it sexy for it to be sexy. It needs to enter our sexual zeitgeist, likely through advocacy and proper sexual education.

I have a hard time understanding how to people asking for what they want and expressing what they'd like to do could possibly be unsexy to anyone. Like I'm watching everyone get off and have their sexual needs validated and acted on. Non enthusiastic consent sex is SOMETIMES hot like the movies where two people are on the same wavelength and effortlessly act on eachothers desires. MOST of the time it's awkward lack of communication leading to uncomfortable positions and the partners ESPECIALLY the femme/sub role having ALMOST what they want, getting CLOSE to amazing orgasm(s), but through lack of communication not really getting there, or settling for less.

Ironically the people who most consistently have "sexy hot movie sex" without having to talk are people who have been having enthusiastic consent sex for a few weeks or months and are playing out a scene they both understand.

Whew, thinking all this out is making me feel some kind of ways!

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 days ago

Yeah, I agree with your personal experience regarding who is generally turned off by it, but I think that's why it needs to be a masc/Dom lead thing. Subs are too turned off by it conceptually and don't want to take the lead. I think the big issue is how it's incorporated into foreplay. Unfortunately, being sexy and dom about consent is not second nature to everyone, but it can definitely be done.

"Do you want me to X" or "wouldn't you like that?" can be sprinkled throughout foreplay. "Tell me when to stop" or walking someone through an RP scenario where you respect their no and then they have to enthusiastically express consent to proceed. Absolute basic outline below devoid of all sexuality and not actually phrasing I would use: "Tell me to stop" "I don't want you to" "Tell me anyway"

Option A "Ok. Stop" You stop and then have some sexy banter and tell them they need to ask you to continue. You've now demonstrated that you will respect their no even if you know it's just play and you have their enthusiastic consent to proceed. If they don't want to proceed either they didn't actually like what was happening or you can try to ask them what they want instead and now they're in charge.

OR "No I like this too much" You can proceed and potentially ask sexy follow ups to understand what specifically they like. "Oh you like how I X or do you like how I Y better?"

The issue is there's a fine line between sexy and cringe. Knowing how to read a situation will definitely help, but the concept of using consent to build suspense is not new. There's a whole genre of bodice rippers where the woman is the one that finally gives in and lets the man take her because he insists he won't touch her until she begs for it. It obviously requires more restraint from the dom, and different techniques work on different people, but generally a way can be found to put consent in the hands of a sub without letting them feel like the power dynamic has been lost. It really is an art form though and not everyone can be a great artist, but we can all try our best.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 days ago (7 children)

I disagree actually. I'm a sub and historically the Dommes who've been good for me hsve been ones who appreciated that I set boundaries right away and am clear and up front about my desires. It took a huge load off my Domme to know that she wasnt the one to ask for it.

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 days ago

When I hear people say that porn is bad for your brain I'm always confused. But then I remember rape and cheater porn are two of the most popular forms of porn.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Oh, so "Do what you want to me" doesn't mean put her feet in my mouth and jerk off? But that's what I want.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 19 hours ago

She contractually cannot complain

[–] [email protected] 19 points 6 days ago (8 children)

Right on the head, I've had a woman try to tell me to be rougher and take what I want.

Sure, right after you sign a fucking waiver - I'm not about to 'take what I want' and have you turn around and claim I forced you into something.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 days ago

The waiver isn't legally binding. Wouldn't waste your time.

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[–] [email protected] 21 points 6 days ago

Sounds like something that could be very easily solved with basic communication.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 6 days ago

No no, I think you captured it perfectly.

[–] [email protected] 50 points 6 days ago (1 children)

On yeah, you like that you fucking retard!?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 days ago (1 children)

I think about this story like once a month.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 days ago

What story again

[–] [email protected] 42 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

I prefer slow, but I also like pleasing my partners. I straight up tell them that if you say "do whatever you want with me", it's gonna be slow. If they want to be slammed harder than Pete Hegseth downing a beer, then they need to say that instead.

Communication, people. I know it's cliche to say communication is important, but it is.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 5 days ago

I had someone tell me I could fuck her harder. That isn't what turns me on. Oh well.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 5 days ago (1 children)

"you mind if I put some music on to get me going?"

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 days ago

I had almost forgotten this insanity.. My colleagues are giving me weird looks, while I try to contain my laughter

[–] [email protected] 17 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Maybe stop shouting, some of us try to sleep here!

[–] [email protected] 7 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

Shut up uncle Joe, Charlie needs to cook!

[–] [email protected] 13 points 6 days ago

The absurdity made it funny, well done.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 6 days ago

My partner would never say that to me. Something about the back of a Volkswagen.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

Dude show some emotion moan cry call upong your pagan gods, anything. Some guys just be there thrusting with their eyes closed and no sound. That's why she thought you weren't enjoying it.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 days ago

Relatable

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