this post was submitted on 08 Apr 2025
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me_irl

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[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 month ago (3 children)

fuck you. how the hell can you hear what i think in the shower?

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)

The Easter Bunny tells her.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

protip: if you want to get laid, just crawl up a rabbit's ass and wait a few more days

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

I knew they were listening to my thoughts...

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

Literally told my therapist I know I'm doing well bc that hasn't happened in forever, like an hour ago.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

She’s probably talking to JK Rowling 😆

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

In my culture, we hit women with wooden whip, until they give you eggs (or alcohol)

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago
[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

The Easter Bunny is coming, little one
It’s long ears and it’s fluffy coat

The Easter Bunny is coming, little one
With a basket of dreams and nightmares

The Easter Bunny is coming for you, little one
Its dagger eyes and its razor teeth

When it stands, it stands taller than any child
It’s gifts outsized by its bloodied fur

You can’t be sure that it sees you as it approaches
You know it sees you as it starts to twitch

Do not pray for yourself, as that would be in vain
Pray that your parents are not the first to see, what the Easter Bunny does to you
Those parents never utter words again
Pray while there is still time little one!

It’s insatiable lust for the necro-surreal
All because you are in the wrong place at the wrong time
All because your parents wanted more than the world should rightly give
All because you were left to play alone with your toys instead of in the kitchen as you normally would

Little one, the Easter Bunny is coming for you.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago
[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Got in a big argument with my longtime friends last year, who thought it was bad parenting to tell kids Santa Claus was real. Their "point" was how can your children ever trust you again once they know you lied to them? The fact that most people manage to cope with this didn't enter into their reasoning. It was like arguing with Sheldon Cooper.