Asklemmy

I sense that the question belies a mindset that romance is a numbers game, and I am eager to point out that it's not. Success in love, in my experience, comes from the willingness to share yourself with others and the courage to be vulnerable.

Don't worry about how many people would like what you've got to offer. Focus on genuine connections with the people in your orbit, and branch out from there.

Caveat: unless you're surrounded by abusers

There are going to be as many opinions on this as there are women who like having sex with men. Some women like dominant men, some like submissive men, some like doms on even days and subs on odd days. Some only like doms on a full moon. Im using silly examples, but the point is human sexuality can’t come anywhere close to fitting into binaries like this. Individuals have their preferences, and no two individuals’ preferences are going to be the same.

In my experience, on the whole, no. I’ve found being a submissive man actively repulses many women, some will entertain it but aren’t into it, and a very small minority enjoy being dominant- and a significant number of those charge for it.

Pro dommes wouldn’t be a thing if submissive men were more universally accepted.

There’s all kinds of reasons for this and there is no one size fits all answer. I speak only from my experience.

It is hard to estimate but in general I would say there are more submissives of any gender than dominants interested in them.

I like submissive men, and generally am downright turned-off by dominant men. Am I the norm? Probably not. I think there are more subs than Doms just in general, but especially among women

But I'm just answering your question as presented. Another has already commented some decent love advice if you're asking about this stuff as pertaining to you

I will add, though, that while strictly in a D/s dynamic, women are subs more often than Dommes, in any dynamic that strays from BDSM, the submissive tendencies are just sort of a spice when they come up, and that, if you're using the word submissive to describe a man who isn't conventionally masculine (Or maybe toxic masculine), you're probably better off. We wanna feel safe with who we're with, and outside of BDSM, you'll probably have better luck as a gentle, emotionally intelligent, confident person. Some people might describe that as submissive

I will not address the sexual aspect, but the social aspect, I know I prefer my guys to be more “submissive.” That doesn’t mean I want them to be quiet and never take charge; it means I want to be the one to take the leading role, take them out for dinner, provide for them, and so on. I prefer guys who are more domestic, down to earth, more in tune with i.e. cooking (since I am not), but I would also like to take them out for shopping trips and feel good knowing I can buy this person a gift. No, this is not the norm; many people still follow and believe in the primitive gender roles as we know them. Some people who read this comment may not even believe me; how could a woman enjoy spoiling a man!? Unbelievable. But no, I genuinely do, and I wish there were more spaces for women like me with preferences like this.

Most people don’t want to date submissives. Plenty do. Some don’t realize they want it.

My experience would show that most women prefer a man to take charge.

Even many women with very successful, high power careers want to take a submissive house keeper/mother type roles in the home.

Many women also find it gratifying for men to take control sexually.

Of course there is no "one size fits all" solution to people and in the age of equality, any suggestion that gender roles aren't equal in every way can be very controversial.

FYI: there is a difference between wanting a submissive man and wanting to dominate (or break) a powerful man. I imagine there are more women of the latter than the former.

I'm masc presenting and I was worried for a while that women tended to not like submissive men, which was really discouraging for me. I found my current partner though, who does, and that's really changed my perspective. I'm not remarkable in any means (I'm 6' tall but not conventionally attractive, not thin/don't have tremendous muscle. Just kinda average) but my perspective has changed from "women don't like submissive men" to "lots of women do like submissive men, there's just 1) not a ton of them, 2) they don't tend to advertise it the same way men do, and 3) they don't tend to look as intently as submissive men do for dominant partners" -- partially because there's just less dominant women, and partially because I think they find long-term partners that meet those needs and that's it for them

I'm not gonna tell you it's easy, it's not, but I'm a thoroughly unremarkable person that was pretty comfortably in your shoes for a long time and then I lucked out into my partner. The best advice I can give is being a decent person goes a long way towards smoothing over any concerns with dom/sub dynamics, and if that dynamic is important to you it's good to be open to talking about it even if it results in failure. Find spaces where advertising that is beneficial too, join your local kink community -- I've been to a few kink events, namely just sloshes and munches, casual stuff out at a bar. Nothing tremendously freaky, but it's a good place to find women that might be more interested in someone that identifies themselves as a sub. Good luck!!

There are people who prefer other people in specific ways, sometimes.

That's about as precise as this ridiculous notion can be entertained.

You've gotten a ton of amazing answers but to help demonstrate the point made about there being as many opinions as they are people, I prefer my domestically submissive, sexually dominant partner. So there's even more shades to consider.

I can't speak for all of us, but I know I do.

I think that many societies condition people to believe that men are dominate and women are submissive, so that is still the mainstream, but that doesn't mean that there are not women that benefit and desire a submissive man in their relationship.

One important factor regarding submissives: 2 submissive people, regardless of how attracted they are to each other, are less likely to connect due to their submissive nature. in my opinion, people in general want a dominant person to take charge, excluding sociopaths/psychopaths, due to human laziness.

as for women specifically, from what i've seen the majority tend to be submissive, so that goes back to my first point, but also they usually don't seem to care as long as the guy is over 6 feet tall, has immaculate teeth and they get some kind of benefit from it (money, free meals or rides, status, jewelry etc.) but my opinion there will probably get me all sorts of probably deserved hate. This is mostly theoretical. I'm speculating because I tend to be on the submissive side and i'm jaded as fuck, so take anything I say as worth a grain of salt.

Probably heavily dependant on the culture.

Personally, I believe the two dimensional stereotype is an indicator of intellectual depth. I can't stand when a (perspective) partner expects me to act a certain way all the time. Like, how about we both focus on making compelling interactions that motivate desire in each other and forget this whole simplified binary frame of reference. Maybe I play hard to get and that tension overflows into my submission. Maybe sending me a pic in the middle of a conference meeting drives me wild by the time I get home. One of the few smart things my father ever said is that relationships are never equal unless you're putting in 100% of your effort and the other person is doing the same. My perspective is limited, but I think everyone should find someone that compels them to engage in a broad spectrum of interactions and exploration.

That said playing with AI and isolating Western cultural norms based on English language datasets, we are far more misogynistic that most people are willing to openly acknowledge.

It seems to me, anecdotally, that women with a more masculine temperament prefer men with a more feminine temperament, and vice versa.

First the slapping and now this.

Following thing: It doesn't matter to you because you won't date, play or fuck with the majority of gender - there are too many people alive for this.