this post was submitted on 04 Dec 2024
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Memes

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[–] [email protected] 37 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Headphones do all this already. No mind control is a nice little benefit too.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

Even if you wanted some proprietary tech installed in your body, it seems like such a terrible idea. What happens when the thing is obsolete? What happens if there is a bug? What happens when Elons team didn't consider some edge case or basic engineering principles? What is to prevent them from doing something unethical once it is installed?

Stay out of my brain, thank you very much.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 weeks ago

No think,
only consume.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 weeks ago

I would be interested in seeing brain implant with fully open-source firmware that could be flashed securely (as in no wireless updates). I probably wouldn't use it but I would be more comfortable with supporting it for those with physical disabilities.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 weeks ago

But but ... it'll play music in your head! Don't you see the benefit of such marvellous innovation provided exclusively by Elon Musk?

[–] [email protected] 19 points 2 weeks ago

What we really need is for people to be way more distracted and absorbed into media at all times of the day than they already are AND for there to be no detectable way to know they are distracted to everyone around them. The frustration of being constantly ignored combined with the urge to constantly have information or entertainment streaming straight into your cortex will mean that everyone is even more isolated and lonely than they have ever been before and are therefore easier to radicalized! Can't wait for the new techno-pocalypse!

[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Contrary to headphones that streams music to my feet.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 weeks ago

Like everything that this goon touches, this neuralink shit is a farce. The leads need to be placed very specifically, then they need to not move with brain growth. They move, and fail, and then musk doctors get to open your head up again to reset them. This shit is never going to be viable. With muskrat involved it is certainly to be a grift.

But, this company synchron has it figured out. No placing leads, no open brain surgery. Outpatient install, and adaptive. Thing becomes part of the vein wall.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 weeks ago

If it plays music, it will play adverts

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

We will welcome hackers!!
Heroes we will need but won't deserve.

Megacorps will stream constant ads directly to your brainhole & cause pain if you don't consume enough - even a rickroll will be a big improvement from the dystopian reality.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

"Hey remember that weird time everyone saw an augmented reality hallucination of Max Headroom for like 10 seconds?"

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

But when you don't pay the monthly fe, 24/7 Shitty flutes

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago

When you DO pay: 24/7 mediocre flutes, with unskippable commercials.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago
[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago

So louder = brain fry?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago

Neuralink will not be a thing, stop trying to make it a thing!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago

Can we just not post about that man even in jest.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Nice to see Musk having some real wholesome inspirations.

What's next, recreating Torment Nexus from the famous novel "Don't Create Torment Nexus"? Though Elon brain chips is already Torment Nexus for all the monkeys who lived and died in insane pain in the development process.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 2 weeks ago

It's called Ohrwurm. Go cyberfuck yourself, smegma mine dwarf.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 week ago

Yay, now you can pay for sponsorships in a form of schizophrenia. I'd rather have actual schizophrenia, than whatever this is.