this post was submitted on 22 Oct 2024
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Asklemmy

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Looks like my account was banned/restricted for the above interaction, have already sent the mods on world an email asking if they'd be willing to reverse that. Had an episode of psychosis a few months ago where I did say some offensive stuff, (understandably) got a 3 month ban on .lol for that, so could see my account having been flagged.

I uh, I don’t think it’s reasonable to expect people to check others profiles to ensure we are correctly pronouning them… when making a throw away comment that is less than 10 words involving a ludicrously common saying. Jerboa does not show users pronouns. I could switch to an app that DOES show the pronouns, do any Lemmings have a recommendation for a free Lemmy mobile app that has that feature?

Edit: Edie chimed in, Jerboa does show pronouns. It's a formatting issue with mobile vs browser (She has them on individual text lines so they don't appear on mobile).

Was just going to respond to the user in question to let them know I wasn't purposefully trying to offend that individual, to discover I'm not able to post or make comments on world now, so figured I'd see what y'alls opinion on the matter is.

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 day ago

I personally try to avoid gendered language, but if I do use it, I tend to check their profile-bio :)

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

I know that for some people it's quite a struggle. Whether it is their focus, lazyness, energy levels, unwillingness during their toilet time or something else.

So, I'd say no. That's part of why I usually just go for they/them. Just like when you don't know someone's pronouns irl

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

Then there are those of us who grew up in an era where usernames either didn't matter or didn't exist (depending on the platform), so you quickly became conditioned to just not reading their name let alone clicking into their whole account to see who they are. I am guilty of it, but people looking at your profile is creepy.

I know that on Reddit before I left, the only time I ever took a good hard look at someone else's account is if they said something that made me so unbelievably angry that I had to look at everything else they said to find something to clap back with. By the time I would get partway through their post history, I would realize that I let a random stranger on the internet tilt me and then I'd calm down and feel stupid for a while before going back to my own business.

We are all strangers on the internet. Let's keep it that way.

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 day ago (4 children)

Just be more careful with gendered language. Also, the trans flag was right there

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (8 children)

I did not know that was the trans flag. Appreciate ya letting me know >_<

β€œThe them, the myth… the X”. Forsure, that does seem more meme anyways.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 day ago

Happy to help, and don't feel down for the restriction, in today's hellworld where people's identities are constantly and violently challenged it's hard to not be jumpy when something doesn't seem right

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 day ago (4 children)

Maybe a stupid question, but how do I tell from the flag whether that's a trans fem or trans masc?

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 day ago (7 children)

If it's an ambiguous name you might have to check. Fortunately, Edie is an unambiguously female name, and the clear majority of binary trans people pick clearly gender-coded names.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 22 hours ago

It... It is? I am not a native speaker but I would've for sure thought it was a male name...

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 day ago (1 children)

There are no stupid questions, but the one you should ask yourself is "should i try to use gender neutrale language and/or check their bio or should i not care and risk hurting someone?"

If you care about not hurting people, you'll find the right answer, and if an honest mistake happens, own it and people will generally be understandable. It's really not that different from common courtesy, it just isn't the norm yet

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

I personally prefer to stick to gender neutral language in general. Maybe it's my autism, but a lot of the time profiles don't help me much unless there are preferences are listed explicitly

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago

I too stick to gender neutral language in general, it just feels better to do so when i don't know who is "in front" of me. When profiles don't help I think it's best to not assume anything and just speak neutrally

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 day ago

You don't but you'll know that it probably matter that you get it right

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Just stop giving a fuck, there's a metric shitton of crazies doing janny work, it's unpaid and very unsatisfying. If they ban you, it's either their instance's loss or nobody's. The account costs nothing because it's worth next to nothing. I don't even need the links that I myself post and the others' I can see even if they ban my account. This is a shitpile, it being in the fediverse doesn't make it less of a shitpile.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago (3 children)

Generally I wouldn't take that kind of thing too seriously from hexbears they love conflict and actively seek it out

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (3 children)

I lurk quite a bit, rarely comment or post. Have seen a lot of complaints about the Hexbearers, didn't think they were too bad (well there are accounts on there that do seem to like to push Russian/Chinese talking points frequently + consistently). However overall the community provides some high quality content/insight.

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 day ago

Its an honest mistake and I think if you appealed the ban you'd have a good case for it, however as you now know that's the trans flag you can be more mindful in future :)

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

That's a pretty reasonable misunderstanding, I don't speak for anyone but myself but generally as long as there's no malice involved I'm not upset by an accidental misgendering.

I'm on jerboa too and didn't even know there were specific pronouns on accounts, I just chucked mine in my bio.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 19 hours ago

There aren't specific pronouns. One can just use the display name option to add pronouns

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago

i would block all those people and move forward with my life

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