Asklemmy

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🫣 But...

Cigarettes. Went cold turkey every time. 3 time's the charm! It's been 13 years now, but I still occasionally get cravings, and sometimes I dream about having one and then wake up feeling super guilty and horrible about myself even though it wasn't real.

Both alcohol and nicotine. Corona probably saved me with its lockdowns (though I did go back to hard drinking to some degree after). I still have the odd drink and odd cigarette, but neither are everyday things for me anymore and I can go weeks without either (though on days I do drink, it certainly makes me want to smoke).

Currently battling coke zero. I will dehydrate rather than just drinking plain water (carbonated makes little difference) as I just don't want to drink it and forget about it. As a kid, the place I lived had well water that didn't taste great, so that's probably something to do with it. I've managed to somewhat replace it with a zero-calorie sports drink powder that I put in water. Still, it lacks the mouthfeel and satisfaction.

The other current battle is gluten and thus wheat and everything containing it. This is more-or-less impossible here in Japan if eating out (most soy sauce has gluten). The background is that I likely have Celiac's (dad has it with very rough symptoms starting in his 60s, I'm in my 40s and a DNA test already told me I had inherited markers for it was likely to develop it). I was called "the bread kid" as a child because of how much I liked to eat (particularly homemade) bread. Until very recently, I baked bread and stuff a lot. It really sucks because I really miss the texture and taste of good bread. It's also difficult when thinking about what to eat. "Oh, I've got some pasta that will just take a few minutes to cook" is not a thing anymore. I have to make rice or potatoes ahead or have nothing but meat and veg.

Biting my cheeks, now I bite my lips. Mmmmmm skin

Facebook (when that was still a platform young people used). I would obsessively scroll through it for hours each day, basically trying to look at and comment on EVERYTHING. On a whim, I decided to take a break from it for a month. By the time the month was up, I realized I didn't miss it at all, and that was that. One of the big takeaways was that I thought that I was forming relationships with the people I'd comment back and forth with, but in reality these were people who I would never hang out with outside of school and barely even talk with in school (if at all); it was all just superficial, and I was better off spending time talking to my actual friends.

It wasn't that bad, but in high school I mindlessly got into the habit of drinking a few cups of Coke each day (I think it started because I would get a 2 liter whenever I'd order pizza). I quit it pretty much cold turkey, and not only did I stop drinking it at home, I no longer order it at restaurants either, which is something I did ever since I was a little kid. The idea of just buying a bottle of soda and drinking it is straight honestly grosses me out now even though getting a can or bottle from a vending machine was something I'd do without thinking. The one exception is when I'm pigging out at the movies with a bucket of popcorn, but that's pretty rare.

sweats profusely in ADHD

I've stopped smoking 3 times

Quit smoking a few years back, that was an absolute bitch to do.

Still get the feeling every now and then, only 'relapsed' once at a funeral.

playing stupid mobas

Smoking. Accidentally through vaping? Switched to vaping never intending to quit, but ran into issues with my vape, couldn't use it, and one day I just sort of realized I was fine.

I had one of those early Kangertech models and i kept having issues with coils (even new ones) and then later with the battery. I guess I could have gone to the disposable kind but yeah. It just sort of happened.

I remember the fear i used to get thinking a certain cig was my last one ever. I think taking that out of the equation is critical. Either by lowering your dose or just cutting back in number, working down slowly, and keeping the process open ended is best.

Nicotine and I guess drinking (the second one is mostly due to getting old though haha).

I used to be an acidic goblin but now I've limited my caffeine intake to 1 soda per day at lunch (for the boost in energy). Proud of that one. Throwing out the vapes next but thats hard. At least it got me off cigs.

I'm down to a soda/caffeine drink at most once a day, down from drinking two or more every day.

Smoking. Vaped off of cigarettes and then gradually decreased the nicotine levels until I had vaped 0 nicotine for two months, then stopped vaping.

You're always an addict, you're just stronger and know yourself better.

Not long after my mother recovered from chemotherapy, my grandmother passed away. I was tasked with disposing of my mother's morphine, however I decided to take it for relief.

I was addicted not to the feeling of being numb so much, but the initial euphoria. I would snort the morphine in powder form. I know I did some rudimentary conversion, however after kicking it I forgot every single step and cannot remember a lot of that time.
Over a year had passed, yet my knowledge of it is very little. It feels as though I have lost parts of my life... Like I mean, literally lost.

The euphoric kick got less and less prevalent, and I felt as though I needed more in order to gain that initial kick - however I wasn't even aware of this effect happening, despite all manners of media being rife with this step of opiate addictions. The act of increasing dosages came so naturally I don't even think I made a conscious decision to, yet my tolerance rose to points where I was taking multiple times the lethal dose (for someone with base tolerance levels).

I saw what it was doing to me at one point, just by happenstance of looking into the mirror for a moment longer than usual.

I went cold turkey, and it was... Well, hell doesn't even describe how this felt. It took about a couple of weeks, with the first being the worst.
I had locked myself up in my room, telling some folks to check up on me periodically, online friends mainly, and what to do if I don't respond within a given time. I recall a moment where one of my friends was about to call an ambulance, because I was one minute late to answer (I was probably vomiting profusely).

The very last time I did that was in the second or third week of November, 2012.

I understand that going cold turkey could be very dangerous, especially with a built up tolerance, however at that point I would not have been able to wean myself off of the stuff. I was too far in, and without going extremely hard into it I probably would have died not too long after.

If you have a friend going through opiate addiction, please be there for them. That's all I can say.

Recently quit being a man after a couple of conditioned behaviour

Sodas