this post was submitted on 23 Nov 2023
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Autism
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I am not pretending to be anyone. Trying not to care isn't a realistic solution because if I don't care then how will I meet people? The end results is me spending my days alone.
Have you considered the possibility that this might be the most you can achieve socially? Or even.. that you might be better off alone?
God forbid I actually want a social life then. Expecting accommodation for my disability the penalty isolation. Fucking neurotypicals. I want a social life. I want a romantic life. The only reasons those things are supposedly unaccessible is because of the bigoted attitude of others. I am tired of being told its all my fault for not changing my behaviour enough or because I am apparently asking for too much as a person on the spectrum.
You're asking others to provide you with a social life.
I do believe that you're trying your best, but you're not entitled to have others want to hang out with you. If they wanted to, then you're right and you did your part. But what if they don't want to? Do they have to change themselves just for you to have a social life?
I'm not gonna lie, you're entitled attitude here makes me feel like you are not pleasant to be around. I may be misreading you, but I'm getting major incel vibes. Here's the thing: you trying to make friends doesn't mean they have to reciprocrate.
You are not entitled to have otherslike you or want to hang out with you. Your desire for a social and romantic life is valid and understandable, but that is on your side. The world does not have to care about it, as hard as it sounds.
For what it's worth, it took me until my mid-thirties to actually find a social circle. More than 3/4 of my life I struggled just as you. Stop expecting from the world to bend over backwards for you, work on your attitudes and on accepting that even though you gave it your best shot these people may not be friend material. If that happwns, move on.
Don't try to hang out with people because you want to make friends. Hang out with people because you want to do something interesting. Shift your focus from making friends to simply enjoying the time. I don't know what your interests are, but you can join a movie club if you area movie nerd, you can try geocaching if that tickles your fancy, go running... whatever activity you enjoy. Once the pressure on yourself is gone from "I have to make friends" chances are you will be much more relaxed and approachable.
People are not a tool to get a social life. A social life happens when you do things you enjoy and you find people who share that passion on the way.