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for those of you with good communication skills, what do I tell my manager so she stops telling me I need to talk more (socially)? (programming.dev)

submitted 1 week ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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very similar question to my last one but this time with management, not a coworker.

Similar because she keeps pestering me with what to her seems to be an important issue. She doesn't seem to understand that I'm there to work and not to socialize. On our last conversation she told me we're a big family and that I'm welcomed to be sincere with her with a big smile, to me a fake one.

So many red flags I wanted to run, but I still have to articulate it in office speak so she stops pestering me.

Context is an exit interview management is going to use to try and convince me to stay, but I don't want to work there anymore, too much drama and cattiness over dumb crap.

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[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 week ago (3 children)

I might not be the best one to reply, but that "we're a family" shit irritates me.

"If we're a big family here, then you, and my coworkers, need to accept me as I am. This is who I am, this is how much I smile, and this is how much I socialize. Please, we my family, accept that."

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 week ago

I have actually worked at a place that said that and it was almost legit. The owner lived interstate and would fly in take everyone to a restaurant for lunch at least monthly. When a family member of his died he gave time off for all the staff and flew an all expenses paid for any one that wanted to go to the funeral. He would regularly invite any staff (open invitation) and spouses and kids to see games with his and his family, all paid for (including alcohol). We also got flown to his state to attend a milestone birthday, all expenses paid, including spouses. Spouses were always included and kids invited where it was practical.

Annual raises without asking. Random bonuses, especially when a business deal went well.

That place was eccentric, but it actually did feel like we were being looked after.

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