this post was submitted on 23 Oct 2023
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These apps seem to encourage ‘transactional’ behaviour. Less so in my experience irl. Best formula someone gave me was: get involved with something you enjoy, a club or activity. Meet people through this. Get to know them with the pressure off (as you’re enjoying whatever the activity is). Meet people through activities to form proper relationships, was his take.
I’d love to know if this has actually worked for someone.
Doesn't work for me. When I'm enjoying my activities it is just that, not being there with a plan B the back of my mind. I get that this is not what you are saying, but I find it more comforting to keep dating and activities separated.
It's not that you go in with the plan to date. You meet people through activities, maybe hang out with them outside of those activities. Meet their friends, have parties, socialize, and through all that you meet more people and maybe hit it off with someone and date.
The trick is, there is no plan B. You go there for fun activities, and friendships and relationships develop naturally.