this post was submitted on 24 Dec 2023
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Yeah, in discussions like this it's important to put out both the "it's okay if you've got a deep curiousity/desire to be the other gender that you want to explore to see if it leads somewhere more" and the "there's nothing wrong with just having fun exploring other identities or bodies without it being some kind of deep-seated transgender thing." I think the "egg_irl" reaction is sometimes harmful because it ends up pressuring people who really aren't transgender but who would be perfect allies if they weren't ending up feeling annoyed by the whole thing.
No one who can be annoyed out of allyship would have been a particularly steadfast ally regardless how many eggshells one stepped around while dealing with them.
You may not be aware of just how annoying and downright offensive it is to have eager "helpful" people instantly jumping to "aha, you're trans and I will help you come to terms with that!" When you mention that your roleplaying characters or whatnot play around with various genders. It's probably not quite on the same level as people assuming gay people are just "rebelling" or "going through a phase" or whatever and will just get over it, but I imagine it feels along those same general lines.
There surely are some people who are indeed a metaphorical "egg" just waiting to crack, but everyone should have the right to feel comfortable with themselves regardless. Dismissing those offended feelings as walking on eggshells misses that point.
Didn't cross my mind that someone would suggest that I'd be trans (just) because I want to play female characters too (and sometimes robots and others).
The thought alone feels so strange to me (to me personally)!
Of course a joke is a joke and OK in my case (when the intention is good) but if someone insisted that I'm a trans based on my game characters only, I would get upset.