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The framing of this question is interesting. "...or are you just being nice?" Seems to assume that being nice is not a legitimate or authentic way of being, maybe unless it is a means of getting something you want.
A psychiatrist once told me "If I've learned anything over the years, it's that people really do think differently from each other." I can accept this as true but it really boggles my mind sometimes when I think I have caught a glimpse of someone's fundamental assumptions that are so different from mine.
I have met a few people who have said things like "I don't have time for small talk or chitchat, it is meaningless noise to me." I thought to myself "OK, you're not getting invited to my bar-b-que then." Which was probably fine with them. Still, it's hard for me to imagine having that mindset. Maybe when I was a teen it might have been said of me that I was self-absorbed and didn't care about anyone else, but I certainly did care, more than I was able to express.
I occasionally encounter people -some way past their teen years- who have no interest in any of the things that I am into, but want to endlessly info-dump to me about My Little Pony or whatever their special interest is. I listen, not because I am particularly interested in My Little Pony, and not because I am "just being nice." There is another reason, and I don't think of it as transactional or "playing a social game."
If there is any point to my rambling it is that I find the either/or thinking of the question reductionist and over simplified. I think this is one of the aspects of autism that makes it a disorder or disability for some people, because the very rigid black and white thinking can create a lot of frustration when reality doesn't conform to their internal strict rules.
What's the other reason why you listen to them?
I explained it better in my other comment. In the case of Neighbor Lady, I like her and want to maintain a connection with her, even if I don't have any real intrest in her quilting obsession.
For other people I don't already know and have a relationship with, it is the practice of developing good affinity with others that is important. The way we treat others is a reflection of the relationship we have with our self. Doesn't it make sense to be kind and open to my own self? I think it does. It follows for me that I should also be kind and open with others. They are not just objects that move around and do things in my environment. My "self" and other "selves" are all fingers of the same hand, to make a funny metaphor. That's the other reason.