I liked the one a while ago about making every blind person able to see again for exactly 6 hours before they go blind again
That sounded just viciously cruel
this post was submitted on 15 Nov 2023
631 points (97.7% liked)
Lemmy Shitpost
26958 readers
2764 users here now
Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.
Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!
Rules:
1. Be Respectful
Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.
Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.
...
2. No Illegal Content
Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.
That means:
-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals
-No CSA content or Revenge Porn
-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)
...
3. No Spam
Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.
-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.
-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.
-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers
-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.
...
4. No Porn/Explicit
Content
-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.
-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.
...
5. No Enciting Harassment,
Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts
-Do not Brigade other Communities
-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.
-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.
-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.
...
6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.
-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.
-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.
...
If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.
Also check out:
Partnered Communities:
1.Memes
10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)
Reach out to
All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker
founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
I'd just let them see, but make them temporarily go blind every time they'd be about to see something they care about, or are in a dangerous situation where being able to see would be useful.
Christ. You guys are insane. I mean, I love it but hoo-boy ...
Like having your own, internal, automatic Joo Janta 200 Super-Chromatic Peril Sensitive Sunglasses
Those that were just getting to sleep for the night when he cast his wish....
LMAO
Similarly, people who can’t walk can for a week. Just enough time to get moving again and may be get to a physio therapy session. Really get the hope in full swing
Reminds me of this classic: 
Everyone already has Taste Buds in your asshole
https://www.foodbeast.com/news/science-says-testicles-and-anuses-have-taste-receptors/
I was cursed with this knowledge, and now you are too.
Next time you're stuffing fistfuls of delicious bacon into your mouth, you might want to consider sticking a piece or two of crispy goodness into your crotch, then up your butt for good measure.
That's a hell of a way to start an article.
Disclaimer: I'm not an expert. I invite you to correct me if you know better. Sources are at the end.
If you see taste receptors as chemosensors, then yes. We have those all over the place. In the lungs, brain, kidneys, the gastrointestinal system etc.. Even in sperm. Although a lot of those are not well studied yet, it has been found that - depending on the cells and region - they can serve specific purposes, like metabolic regulation, or airway relaxation. Basically a way for you body to react to chemical signals. However, afaik they do not contribute to the taste sensation when you're eating. (Except of those in your mouth, tongue and nose of course.) So you don't need to go all Cartman style.
But(t), a lot of those findings have limited validity, e.g., because of investigations using cell cultures instead of in vivo studies, or because several animals have a different (or even completely lacking) set of those receptors than humans.
Sources, which I skimmed for this:
McDonald's purple rotund mascot Grimace was originally conceived as an engorged taste bud. I give you cursed taste bud knowledge in return.
I swear, marketing executives seem weirder and weirder.
Homicide would be justified, I think. Or maybe just force-feeding him shit.
im laughing so hard the neighbours will think ive gone insane
I think people will figure something out when they begin to study the magical limb disappearing event and they find out you're the only person alive who was unaffected.
"I was born with an extra arm"
Pics or it didn't happen
Turns out it was the third leg
3rd wish: no one ever will figure out i was the reason for the limb disappearance
People will have to rationalize your existence somehow. Being unable to ignore that you're the one person left on the planet with 4 limbs, everyone you meet now immediately labels you a freak and you find yourself ousted from society.
Or they just blank every conversation you have with them from their memory. Meeting people would be like meeting them for the first time. That's some monkey paw.
The second wish could make forward by "however one in 1.3 million people don't randomly instantly lose a limb, instead they lose theirs randomly over time" that's enough of a cushion where you wouldn't be too weird.
I am sure the mystery of disappearing limbs will FAR overtake the one person who wasn't affected. Worldwide panic and who knows what else. You could also wish 99% of people lose a random limb, and that would mean 70 million people would still have all their limbs.
It might not be obvious, depending on what counts as a "limb". Plus maybe OP already is missing one?
I mean, it'd still be a more accurate Death Note adaptation than what Netflix made, to be honest.
People who have to get a limb amputated and the right one gets randomly deleted: "Noice!"
Hopefully it's the correct limb for some of them.!
Yeah, extra shitty for the ones who get a good limb deleted instead.
Wish 1: All humans are sterile.
Wish 2: All humans are immortal.
Wish 3: All humans are furries.
Now just sit back and enjoy the chaos.
I too play FFXIV
Is that actually the plot for a FF game?
No lmao
But if you play it, that joke might hit you the right way.
that's one way to get a leg up
The title and post kinda make me think of those 1-2 sentence horror stories.
"With tears in his eyes, the genie looks at me as he grants my third and final wish. There was nothing he could do to stop it."
Or imagine Death Note but it falls in the hands of Elon Musk.
There was a one shot sequel to Death Note where a dude got it, then decided it was more trouble then it was worth, and sold it via auction where the funds would be split up amongst all the accounts at his bank created before a certain date. The U.S. led by not-Trump won with a several trillion bid, and the dude got killed for breaking a new rule that immediately showed up in the book banning its sale.
I would wish for the ability to grant wishes for myself and others of my choosing
I could then grant myself any ability I wanted qnd essentially become a god
Is a finger a limb?
Is a penis a limb?
Depends how thick and long it is I think
I would wish for everyone except me, to think of poop everytime they eat. 😈
People would just assume you lost a limb, which is not usually visible with your clothes on.
That no-limbed motivational speaker guy is set!
Oh. Now double it and pass it along!