this post was submitted on 08 Nov 2024
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I don't think it's inherently a "straight" issue to think the topic of sexuality can be out of place at times. I don't think the topic of sexuality should be taboo like it has been historically but, like many topics, I think there's a time and place for it. In my eye, the only time I need to know a person's orientation is when I find someone I wish to pursue something with since it's a key aspect of my chance of success. I believe what someone does and is into is a closed doors affair; it's their business, not mine. Plenty of times someone's sexuality is held above someone's head, quite literally in the case of this casual fishing game where I feel it doesn't even slightly belong. In these situations, I find myself made uncomfortable because the topic is very mismatched for the context. We're standing here fishing, so why are you bringing who you like to bang - or not, as the case may be - into the conversation?
And huh, would you look at that, I didn't bring my own orientation into the mix because it's not needed.
As a gay dude with a rainbow hat IRL this made me lol. I’m not wearing it to pick people up, I’m wearing it because I’m not ashamed of who I am. It’s not any different from wearing a wedding ring, couples shirts, or any of the million other displays of heterosexuality that you see and don’t think anything about.
PS: even if you are gay, internalized homophobia is a thing. Feeling that it’s super inappropriate to mention that you’re gay unless you want to fuck someone falls under that.
You may not believe it, but most of our behavior is motivated by sex and appealing to our desired mates. Even if you rationally say you don't want to pick up anyone with your rainbow hat, the original impetus to do it at all comes from a biological mind that is designed to reproduce. Being confident in who you are is a desirable trait in a partner, thus making you more attractive, thus contributing to your biological goal of reproduction. Yes, you have more rational reasons for it than just that, but it's extremely likely that the wearing of the rainbow hat feels good to you because of million years of evolution to optimize reproductive success.
And yes, even homosexual people are subject to that, even though they technically can't reproduce. Which I think is pretty funny honestly xD
It's also interesting that you bring all the heterosexual signals up as some kind of counterpoint... but they serve the same goal.
Friend, I am trans, I could reproduce if I wanted to with a dude (I absolutely do not want to). I'm also already married to a gay man, so my rainbow hat is not to pick people up, it's to cover up my balding head. :p
Friend, keeping a partner is also necessary for reproductive success. A child historically had a higher survival rate when parents stayed together. I didn't say that you actually want to pick anyone up with your conscious mind, I'm just saying that the decisions you make are motivated by reproductive success.
Why do you think you even feel the need to cover up your balding head. It's the same reason, just suddenly even more obvious.
I think the decades of family and social pressure telling me that my appearance defined my self worth which I experienced when I was raised as a girl is the reason I wear a hat to cover my balding head, thanks for asking!